The Good You'd Be Part 1: Say Uncle(AU?)-AlMei Week 2016-Aug 22&23
by FreyaNyneveAri The Pen Dragon
Summary: When Alphonse and Mei are tasked with watching Ed and Winry's son and daughter, things get a little crazy. Especially for Al, who after "Other Half" is questioning the nature of his feelings for Mei.


**August 22 & 23: "Balance" and "Food" [Takes place sometime after "Other Half" (Senses) but yet is ****_kind of_** **AU whereas Other Half is not.] Chew on That!**

Al looked down nervously as he struggled to put one foot in front of the other, the pond lying threateningly beneath. He felt the bamboo twinge ever so slightly, and he groaned, wishing Mei had picked a bigger, sturdier branch. In order to enhance his focus,(so he could channel his qi in battle) Mei had been forcing him to walk along a bamboo branch, precariously balanced between two large trees. He had fallen in the pond about three times now, and was getting tired of walking to the hotel sopping wet.

"Remind me why I can't do this closer to the ground, please?"

"Because not falling into the pool is your motivation," she said unbraiding one side of her hair. "Do me a favor and look over here. What do you think?"

Alphonse hazarded a glance to his right and saw that part of her hair was down. He smiled. It looked pretty that way, complementing her round face and—

He felt the bamboo branch rolled beneath his feet and he stumbled, trying to regain his balance before falling into the freezing pond.

"Darn it! _Phht!"_ He bobbed up out of the water, spitting a stream out as he rose. Mei only sat double over on the bank, laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Your—on your head—you made a friend!"

"Huh?" Al looked up, seeing nothing, but when he reached up and felt something slimy, he recoiled. He flailed around, only to see a lily pad fall into the water, quickly followed by a frog hopped to shelter on the bank. Mei was still in hysterics as he recovered himself.

"Here comes The Soul Bonded Alchemist— his helmet exchanged for a frog!" She continued to laugh so hard that she fell over, and Al smiled mischievously, noticing his chance.

"Oh yeah," he said, opening his arms wide and beginning to wade out of the water. "Why doesn't this alchemist come and give you a big hug!?" He stepped on the bank, dripping with water and she looked up, her laughter stopping abruptly.

"Oh—Al—Alphonse, please no." but Al was still advancing slowly toward her, his shirt plastered to him by the water, and looking awfully cold. She used her hands to inch slowly backward,

"Aw, come on Mei! I haven't seen you in _so long!_ " And with that, Alphonse ran towards her threatening an icy-moist embrace.

She ran.

"No, Alphonse! Please no!" Despite her protests, she was laughing as she dodged behind a tree. He almost caught her, but she evaded his grasp. Looking back at him, she smiled wryly. "This is the one you got me! You don't want to ruin it, do you?!" She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed, but then something caught his attention, and he veered to the right behind some bushes.

"You're not getting me that easily, Alphonse!" she shouted, and kept running. It wasn't until she was running out of breath that she stopped to look back.

He still wasn't following her.

Biting her lip in confusion, she turned back slowly, her eyes peeled for any golden hair or eyes.

"Alphonse?" She called out to him, feeling the excitement beginning to shift into worry. What if he really had seen something? "Alphonse?" She stepped closer toward the tree she had hid behind earlier, creeping nearer and nearer to the bushes, looking in the direction that he had been.

"Alphonse! _Alphonse!"_ She felt her heart pound a little faster, definitely not from the running. "Alphonse Elri—"

But she was suddenly toppled over by an immense, soaking wet force, and now lay with a dripping Alphonse, pinning her to the ground. Her first impulse was to be absolutely furious, but it completely melted when she saw the smile on his face.

"Ha ha! You always fall for that!" In spite of herself, Mei grinned back, punching his arm.

"That's because you always wait long enough to make me think you're in danger, you jerk!"

Al only chuckled. "When will you accept I'm not in danger anymore?"

Mei's smile faded a little. "You're starting to sound like your brother. Just because you have your body back doesn't make you invincible." Instead of being hurt like she half expected, he only leaned down closer, an action that made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

"True," he said, as though holding in suspense. "But you're not invincible either... Not from tickling!" He started wriggling his fingers up and down the sides of her ribs, making her squeal in hysterics

"STOP! HAHA! AL! STOP!"

"Say uncle!" he said.

"Why—HA HA okay, okay , okay! Uncle! UN-CLE!"

He stopped.

Despite the heat of the day, Mei felt the chill go down her spine as he merely smiled at her, fingering the other(now unlooped) braid.

"Messed it up," he said quietly, gently tugging at the band at the end of the braid, taking it out. Closing his fist on the small hairband he used his pointer finger to skim through the braid, undoing it entirely so it matched the other side. "There."

Mei felt her cheeks flush without her consent. Her heart started beating a little bit faster than she would have liked. Ever since the sensory deprivation tank, things had been slightly different between them, and she had worked hard to repress it.

 _This is inappropriate!_ her thoughts screamed. _You are supposed to be teaching him alkahestry, not—_

but her mental tirade was cut off when he _actually_ touched her cheek. Was this really happening? Or would she wake up in a few minutes.

"You're beautiful."

He said it quietly, not as though he meant anything by it, or like he was trying to suck up, but as if he were genuinely surprised. As though he had never seen her that way before.

"Alphonse…"

She didn't know what to say. She felt incredibly guilty because he was supposed to be her student, but then again, it wasn't like she hadn't dreamed of this sort of thing several times over.

"Mei?" It was a question, his eyebrows quirking between worry and asking for permission.

 _Permission!?_

"Al, I—" she hadn't figured out the rest of her sentence yet, but never got the chance to, for a booming voice, both made them jump up from the ground immediately.

"Alphonse Elric and her Highness Mei Chang! " There was a great bustling in the bushes as though a bear were trying to make its way through. The culprit, however, turned out to be a leaf-strewn Alex Armstrong, holding both Alphonse's niece and nephew in the crook of one arm. Both children were laughing joyously, enjoying the ride.

"Good evening to the venerable Alphonse and the beauteous Mei Chang! I have been sent by the magnificent General Elric to deliver these delightful angels into your care!" Armstrong smiled as though he were having the time of his life and, proceeded to swing both children upside down by their feet.

Alphonse's heart dropped almost immediately." Wait! What!? You're in Xing?! Where are Ed and Winry!" The Major continued to swing the children back and forth.

"Oh, they are here too!" He said, chuckling heartily. "It is nearing their anniversary, so the General thought it would be a nice surprise for the both of you, as well as a prime opportunity to take the missus to a budding automail market in the next town! He suggested to leave these adorable cupcakes here with you!" He opened his smiling eyes, suddenly taking in both of their appearances. If Al didn't know any better, he would've said that The Major blushed a little. "Unless of course, I have imposed at an inopportune time?"

Both Al and Mei were confused until they followed his eyes and saw leaves and water all over their clothes. Al noticed a slight rip in his shirt and Mei's hair was, quite frankly, all over the place. Finally understanding where his mind had gone, they both scrambled to explain.

"Oh, goodness! No— it's no trouble! We love them!"

"Yeah! We were just done with training anyway! I'd to hang out with my favorite niece and nephew!"

After the suspicion had melted away from his features, The Major smiled delightedly, declaring, "Well, as much as I would love to spend the day with these sweetest of cherubs, I must be on my way!" He handed Hugh to Alphonse, and Sarah-Nina to Mei. "Have a glorious day, tiny Elrics!" The Major stalked out happily, the bushes permanently pushed to the side in his wake.

Both Hugh and Sarah-Nina _started out_ happy and amiable, but the heat on the walk to the hotel soon made them both tired and cranky.

Sara-Nina whined and cried,much to the annoyance of her older brother.

"Hush Sawa-Nia! You gibbing me a headache!"Al slapped his free hand against his sweaty forehead.

"What on earth do we do with them?" he moaned, bouncing a still malcontent Sarah-Nina, as he walked. She was _not_ calming down.

"There isn't much we can do about the baby, until we get inside," she said, "but you can't blame poor Hugh . It's miserable out." She turned back to the little boy, and managed a smile. "Hey, Hugh! I have some ingredients back in the hotel! Do you want to make some cookies when we get back!?"

Hugh's face brightened a little, giving way to a small, excited grin. "Yeah!"

Al smiled at Mei, mouthing over the baby's cries, "You are a genius."

She nodded, but turned to keep her eyes on what she was going. Al was debating on whether or not to reach for her hand, when suddenly Hugh ran up and took it.

"Can you tell me about the Palwace, An-Mei?" he asked in his adoring lisp. He couldn't fully pronounce the word 'aunt' yet, and this had resulted in a endearing compound name. He always loved to pick Mei's brain about the palace she grew up in, and though she had never really cared for it, she made it sound exciting for his benefit. It was one of the things Alphonse loved most about her.

He stopped short as they kept walking ahead, chatting about her father's(the late Emperor's) imported zebras.

He remembered the dream from when he had fallen asleep by the sensory tank a few weeks ago.

" _Please Mei. I love you."_

"You coming Alphonse?"

Alphonse shook his head to clear it, realizing Sarah-Nina had stopped crying, and was now sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"Yeah, just give me a minute." He looked down at his sleeping niece, trying to collect his thoughts. _Was he really in love with Mei?"_

He jogged gently to catch up with them without waking the baby, reciting the periodic table of elements under his breath.

Edward walked through the door, carrying four different bags of automail parts, and setting them on Al and Mei's kitchen table. His arms ached from carrying the load, but he smiled as he saw Winry's starry eyed expression in his head again. What a gearhead! He laughed as he saw her scrambling in the doorway, carrying six more bags of merchandise.

"Oh my gosh, Ed! You are the best husband ever!" Winry squealed, dumping all of her bags on the table in favor of running into his arms for a gear-crazed hug. He embraced the weight and lifted her off the ground.

"Happy Two Years, to my favorite weirdo!" he said, placing his hand on the back of her head. She muttered something into his shoulder that he couldn't quite understand.

"What's that? I'm strong, handsome, tall, and smart, and how could you ever deserve me? Thanks, honey, but that's really too much."

He felt a light tap on the back of his head, right underneath his ponytail, and he was grateful she didn't have wrench at that moment.

She lifted her head, smiling. "I said _, you_ are the weirdo."

She kissed him, and returning it, he put her back on the ground.

"Why don't you take those metal wrenches I bought you and fix me up a bit." He cocked his eyebrow mischievously.

She smacked him on the shoulder, blushing. "Edward!"

"Hey, hey, I meant the leg! You're the one assuming! Besides, this is Al and Mei's suite, it'd be weird!"

His wife's grin was somewhere between mischief and suspicion as she turned around, got one of her newest wrenches, and set to work. Edward sat down in a chair, grateful for the rest. Things were quiet until Winry spoke again.

"Al and Mei's suite," she mused. "Hmm."

Edward raised his eyebrows, knowing something was up. "Hmm? What's the ' _Hmm_ ' supposed to mean?"

Winry rolled her eyes. "Really Ed? Your own brother moves to a different country to train with a beautiful princess, where they live in the same hotels, and you honestly think nothing is going on? Mei used to be crazy for him years ago, I can only imagine how its developed now— why are you laughing?"

But Ed was too busy remembering all the times his brother stammered on the phone when he asked about Mei, or the times he had heard the little bean sprout screaming at him in the background, not unlike Winry when he forgot to bring home milk for the kids.

"Ahhaha! Good old, Alphonse! Secretly shacking up with royalty, and saying nothing about it! Oh, you little scoundrel!"

"Ed! I didn't mean— your brother's not like that! He's too shy. Why, I bet Mei haven't even kissed yet!"

Edward looked at his wife with a mischievous grin. "A _bet_ huh?"

Winry looked up at him an exasperated disbelief. " _Really Edward?_ Betting on your own brother?"

"Come on! I'll even make it worth your while! If it turns out that you are right, and they're still acting like lovesick teens— I will buy stock in that automail company we just left—" he could already see her eyes brighten— "If it turns out they're already a couple, well, you have to do something for me."

Her eyes narrowed, "And what would that be?"

He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. At first it didn't seem like too much, but then she pulled away, utterly shocked.

"I can't do that to Mustang!" she screeched, her cheeks flushing red. "He's the Fuhrer!"

Edward smiled evilly, "You won't have to if Alphonse is still a shy butterfly."

She thought about it, wondering if she could endure the humiliation if she lost. In the end though, the only one who truly would be embarrassed would be Mustang, and she wouldn't be invited to those boring get-togethers for a while.

And on the other hand, if Alphonse had not yet admitted his feelings for Mei as she suspected, she and Edward would be the proud owners of stock in a Xingese automail golden nugget.

"Done. Happy Anniversary." she said, and true to form, they shook on it.

The door opened, and Alphonse and Mei bustled in, the former once again, cradling a screaming infant while his partner held onto the hand of a toddler. Al wasn't sure whether he had been sunburned or was still blushing from the hotel manager's comment when they walked by with the children.

"Oh, how charming," the old matron had cooed obnoxiously. "They must take after their father!" Mei's normally porcelain skin had turned the shade of a bright tomato, and it hadn't helped matters when little Hugh giggled, exclaiming. "No, you silly goose! That's not my daddy! Besides, An-Mei and Uncle Al aren't married yet." This was followed up by the question from the tyke, "When _are_ you gonna get married?" Naturally, Alphonse's response was nothing short of grabbing him by the shirt collar with his free hand, and yelling half-baked apologies while lying through his teeth about leaving the stove on, with Mei, playing along and following close behind. Would the world just leave him _alone_ about that for today!?

"Ready to make some cookies, Hugh?" Mei's voice brought him back to the present, as she set right to work, getting ingredients from the cabinets and the fridge

Al walked over to the far corner, and put Sarah-Nina in a high chair that the hotel always kept in supply for babies, turning around to see a dozen or so bags of automail merchandise on the kitchen table. He buckled her in.

"Damn it, Ed!" He walked over to the table, irritated at the lack of space. Folded like a card so it would stand, a note was placed on the table, addressed to him.

 **Dear Al,**

 **Take care of our rug rats for just a little longer, taking Winry to a romantic dinner down the street.**

 **Ed**

And scrawled cheekily, in that pea-sized dwarf's terrible handwriting was

 **And good luck with the bean sprout, you animal!**

Alphonse angrily crumpled up the paper and turned wale it into the wastebasket across the room, when he suddenly noticed Mei looking at him, a bag of flour in her hand.

"Something wrong. Al?"

He felt his cheeks flush "Ah, no. It's fine. Just an annoying note from Brother." He lightly tossed the paper(with less vehemence), making it into the wastebasket before going over to the counter to help. Hugh was between Mei and him, standing on a chair.

"So, what cookies are you guys making?" he directed the question mostly to his nephew, finding it particularly difficult to look at Mei at the moment.

"Gamma's chocolate ones!" he said excitedly, "the ones you and daddy like!"

A bittersweet pang struck Al's heart as he remembered. Their mother, Trisha, had nearly always been in the kitchen during his and his brother's youth. He smiled, genuinely excited.

"Oh, I remember those!" he said, ruffling Hugh's hair. "Come on, what do you guys need? I'll help you!"

Little did the three chefs know that there were two people hiding in the suite, very interested in what else was cooking in that kitchen.

"Oh my gosh, he's helping her in the kitchen with Hugh! Why can't you do that with me, Ed!?" Winry's whisper was so loud that her husband was surprised when they weren't discovered hiding behind the bookshelf in the living area. He clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Shut up! Do you want them to hear us? I helped you with the lasagna last week! Eugh!" She licked his hand, causing him to recoil.

"By eating half of it!"

"Shh!"

They watched as Alphonse and Mei gathered ingredients, putting the next to a big mixing bowl, while their son tried to sneak a few pieces of the edible ones. Alphonse went to get some eggs from the icebox, and taking two out of the carton, left the rest on the counter. To be honest, Edward was growing slightly bored.

"Nothing's happening, Win."

She glared at him. "Well, what do you want to happen. They're bonding! See, I told you they haven't—Ed, what are you _doing_?

But her husband was grinning like a 12-year-old and peeking out from behind the bookcase mischievously.

"Or maybe they've done everything and they're sick of each other now… Only one way to find out. He stepped out from behind the bookcase, skulking silently toward the counter. Winry calculated his words.

"Sick of each other? Wait a minute, are you saying that you're— _Ed, no!"_

But Edward was already at the eggs, lifting the lid, entirely unnoticed by the couple. He slowly picked out one of the largest, turned on his heel, and flung it at the back of Mei's head— where it broke squarely in between her odango hair buns.

Before Winry even had a chance to breathe, Edward had leapt behind the bookshelf again. Her heart pounded in anticipation as she felt the urge to go smack him and kiss him— because then, Mei's right hand reached up behind her head to feel the sticky yolk.

"What the—" Mei reached up to feel the back of her head, only coming away with yellow yolk on her fingers.

"What is it—Aph!" Alphonse's words suddenly sputtered in a face full of flour.

"Don't act stupid, you cracked an egg on my head! Did you think I wouldn't notice?

"What are you talking about—Phh!" Another face full of flour. "Stop it!"

"Look at this!" She said, turning around. "I just washed my hair! Do you have any idea how long that takes?" She began pelting him with marshmallows, much to Hugh's aunt Sarah-Nina's amusement.

"I didn't— do it! Honestly, Mei!" He was starting to laugh now. "And it's not my fault you keep your hair so long!"

"I thought you liked it long!?" she said, making an alkahestry circle out of flour in order to aim the marshmallows better. She was beginning to smile now too.

Al took a baking pan from the counter and held it in front of his face to shield himself. "I do! I do! But it's still not _my_ hair!"

"Says the man who braids it every night!" she taunted, getting ready to throw an entire sack of flour at him, before she stopped cold. "Wait a minute."

She put the flour down, and calmly walked over to Sarah-Nina, lifting her out of the high chair and going to the guest room. Alphonse and Hugh waited silently. When Mei came out, she was smiling, satisfied.

"The flour in the air might choke her, I put her down for a rest." Without even waiting for Alphonse to say anything, she ran over, grabbed the milk in the measuring cup, and flung it with alkahestry so it would reach and splash him.

"You'd make a great mom," he said, dripping milk; ending has passiveness by taking the butter, using alchemy to melt it, and then making it squirt in her face. "Provided you didn't falsely accuse your husband of cracking ingredients on your head like you did to me!" Hugh laughed tried to join in but only ended up throwing chocolate pieces in the air. Mei slid over to the corner of the room, retrieving the bag of flour, just as Al continued to bombard her with the butter.

"And you'd make a great father," she grunted, trying to heft the entire bag, "provided you didn't start food fights with your wife!'

She tried to throw the whole bag at him, but dropped it, exploding white dust everywhere. She gave up, laughing as he chased around the room, butter still spattering from the package until it was empty. She ended up slipping on the contents, and Al caught her before she fell, pulling her to him as she tried to wrestle him away. He laughed, trying to pin her hands down.

"Ha ha! Admit it, Mei. You lost! Say 'Uncle!'"

"Never!"

"Come on now!"

In the midst of their struggle his hand found its way and inches from her face, and they both stopped.

"Well, let's call it a stalemate then." His voice was quiet as he closed the distance to her cheek, brushing a flour stained strand from her face.

"Yeah."

He stammered. "I uh… I meant what I said earlier."

"Which thing?" she said.

He tried to remember what exactly he meant to say, but he was too busy working of her eyes, leaning in ever so slightly closer. If he wasn't mistaken, she was too. Very close.

"That...You'd be…"

 _Ding dong!_

Alphonse and Mei jumped apart as though they had been shocked, and Edward and Winry both groaned almost audibly. What the hell?!"

"Um..." Al said his throat, searching for an escape. "I'll get it."

He rushed toward the apartment door, slicking his hair back with his free hand, barely noticing there was still milk in it. Putting a buttery hand on the door, he had trouble turning the knob the first couple of times before he finally had success, yanking it open.

"Hey Ed! Was wondering when you were going to—"

but Alphonse stopped. It wasn't Ed.. It wasn't even Winry.

In a flash of red hair, a blinding smile, and a bright yellow jacket— standing at Alphonse and Mei's front door was none other than…

Julia Chrighton.


End file.
